


only in silence

by Shinkirou



Category: K (Anime)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen, Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 07:23:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4910371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinkirou/pseuds/Shinkirou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the first time Munakata's come here, Kusanagi thinks, but then again, maybe it's only the first time he's actually been caught.</p>
            </blockquote>





	only in silence

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into ไทย available: [เพียงความเงียบงัน](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4928143) by [_DM_ (DarthMyrrh)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarthMyrrh/pseuds/_DM_)



> Happy birthday Reishi darling! Sorry I couldn't give you happy delicious sex this time. (Wait until tomorrow.) I do promise that I love you!! And I really want you to survive S2 please hahahah sobs I am _so scared_
> 
> also this is pretty hella ooc but shhh

Something has felt a little off to Kusanagi all day. 

It doesn't quite feel... _Wrong_ , per se, so he doesn't really think that much of it, but when he notices that Anna seems a little distracted and sad as well, he can't help but wonder what's going on. 

The rest of the guys eventually seem to realize that their new King is feeling out of sorts, so they end up offering to take her to the movies. Anna agrees, but asks to speak with Kusanagi privately before she does. Only once they're alone does Anna sigh quietly, seeming reluctant to speak, "... Don't be mean to him, okay? Please." 

Kusanagi shifts his weight to one leg and tilts his head in confusion. "To who?" He has no objections to following Anna's little pleading order, but he can't very well comply with one he doesn't understand. 

"Reishi." 

The name surprises him. Anna seems to have anticipated that reaction, because she continues, "... He needs the rest." 

Kusanagi's still not quite sure what she means, but he nods all the same. At the very least, he knows the Blues have been working almost literally non-stop for weeks now. Munakata's surely the worst off, so it isn't even remotely a surprise that he would be exhausted even if he claims the contrary. Kusanagi figures he's probably more stubborn than even Mikoto was when it comes to certain things, like making his clansmen worry. It's always seemed to him like Munakata keeps a set distance away from everyone. Some people in his clan seem closer to him than others - namely Saruhiko and Seri - but in the end, he doesn't doubt that Munakata would rather keep them in the dark about certain things. 

He doesn't always understand kings, but that's his hunch, at least. 

Still, that brings him back to Anna's comment. "Alright, I promise I won't be mean to the Blue King. Why're you bringin' that up now, though?" Does it have something to do with their seemingly strange feeling?

Anna hesitates again, then merely points to the ceiling and over a bit. Kusanagi mentally places where she's pointing - Mikoto's old room. 

He blinks, not quite understanding for a moment, until, "Wha-- he's there?"

Anna nods solemnly, and Kusanagi now understands why. Technically this place hasn't been registered as the new Red King's domain yet, so while Munakata's definitely trespassing on private property, at least it's not something that will necessarily start a fight between their clans. Munakata had probably figured he'd just sneak in, do whatever he came to do, and sneak back out. 

Maybe he's even done it before. There was a long time when nobody was here except Yata every once in a while... Had Munakata ever snuck in? 

Anna clutches at his sleeve, startling Kusanagi from his thoughts. "... Don't be mad."

 _Mad_ isn't the right word for it, so he shakes his head. "... Don't worry, Anna-chan, I'm not mad at him." That much was the truth - somehow despite the knowledge that Munakata may or may not have broken into his bar several times and done who knows what in Mikoto's room, he's not mad. Because it's not really 'who knows what'. Knowing Munakata, he wouldn't do anything bad... If anything, it's probably some form of mourning. Kusanagi's not mad, no; he mostly just feels sorry for Munakata. 

It’s not exactly a secret that Munakata never wanted to kill Mikoto, knows that the choice had been ripped away from him and that now his own Sword was paying the price. The saying goes that the Sword is the truest manifestation of a King's condition, so if Munakata’s is starting to show cracks after this long, that clearly means he’s been doing his best to keep himself under control this whole time, but that now it’s fraying at the seams. Kusanagi doesn’t think he’s a bad King or anything - the only two so far who have lived a long time after being crowned are the Gold and Silver Kings, and one of those two is immortal - so it’s not like he’s judging Munakata for letting his Sword crack. Honestly, it’s pretty much just a matter of time.

So if Munakata’s condition is getting a little worse, maybe Kusanagi shouldn’t be too surprised that he’s doing things like this. Munakata’s always been a very private person, but if he’s under the assumption that he’s going to die or something fairly soon, then one can’t really blame him for being a little more selfish. Not that Kusanagi thinks of this in a negative way, and there’s nothing wrong with being selfish now and then, so… It’s fine. He doesn’t care. 

Anna seems relieved, trusting that he’s being honest, and allows her hands to release their grip on his sleeve. Kusanagi smiles at her to further reassure her. “Don’t worry. M’not gonna go yell at him or anything.”

“Thank you, Izumo.” With that, Anna seems satisfied, because she finally goes to put on her shoes and pull her shawl over her shoulders. She pauses at the door, though, not quite opening it yet, then speaks again, “… If you don’t mind bringing him a glass of water… He might need one.”

That’s a little cryptic again, but he nods, “Sure thing.” Whatever she says. Now that she’s a King, her Strain abilities seem to have come back as well, so if she says Munakata will need a glass of water, then Kusanagi supposes he can bring one. Even if, honestly, he’d rather just avoid the Blue King altogether right now. He’s pretty much on the same page as Anna when it comes to how he feels towards Munakata - he doesn’t hate him any more than he did before Mikoto’s death, but he’s not happy about it, either. 

Anna nods, then finally opens the door, Yata immediately grinning and talking to her, Kamamoto moving subtly to flank her other side. They know the risks of going out in public, and while they’re not always the brightest, they’ll at least fight to protect her if anything comes up. He waves them off, Yata returning the gesture grandly, then shuts the door behind them and flicks the lock into place. Right… Well, may as well get that glass of water for his unexpected guest, he supposes.

He pours the glass, but he doesn’t immediately take it up. If Kusanagi’s being honest with himself, he’s… Not entirely sure how to approach this. If Munakata’s asleep, it would be ideal to be able to just step in, leave the glass on the nightstand and flee without having to say anything at all, but he doubts he’s that lucky. If Munakata _was_ asleep, there’s no way he’d stay that way while Kusanagi got so close to him. If Munakata’s not asleep to begin with, then it’s more likely that he’ll probably abandon ship the second he hears Kusanagi anywhere near the door. Anna told Kusanagi not to be mean to him, but how’s he even supposed to get close? Not that he particularly wants to talk, but if Anna says he needs water, then Kusanagi will at least make the attempt to get him some.

Well, in the end, it can’t really be helped, he supposes, if Munakata flees before the water gets to him. Their clans are on more friendly terms now, yes, but that doesn’t mean Kusanagi’s going to walk on eggshells just to help Munakata out with this.

He gives it a few more minutes of silence before sighing. Well, whatever. May as well get it over with, no matter what happens.

Despite himself, Kusanagi does attempt to keep quiet as he goes up the stairs and towards the door. There’s no noise from Mikoto’s room, but that doesn’t really mean much - with that Blue Aura’s ability to practically teleport short distances, Kusanagi might not even hear Munakata move before he’s gone. 

Yet when he reaches the door and opens it slowly, his eyes immediately land on Munakata, curled up under the sheets, nose buried in Mikoto’s old pillow. He’s still clearly asleep, or else faking for whatever reason. Kusanagi steps hesitantly into the room, but Munakata shows no signs of stirring. Perhaps he’s even more exhausted than Kusanagi imagined. Maybe he really will be able to walk in and just leave the glass there without any fuss. 

Once he’s closer, he realizes that Munakata’s glasses are off; no, more than that - his clothes are folded neatly by him on the bed. That’s a little… But then Kusanagi sees it: Munakata’s arms are bare, but only up to the shoulder. A short sleeve white shirt. One of Mikoto’s, undoubtedly. Absurdly enough, Kusanagi’s struck with the mental image of how it must look on the Blue King; it seems decidedly out of place on someone so proper and formal. Almost to the point where it’s laughable, yet Kusanagi only feels worse for Munakata. 

He sets the glass down next to Munakata’s glasses on the nightstand, then steps back. Despite himself, he pauses again, taking in the image of Munakata all snuggled into Suoh’s bed, wearing at least his shirt and probably his sweatpants, too. If Kusanagi were Mikoto himself, this might be a pretty cute sight, but… Well, Mikoto’s dead, and Munakata’s clearly mourning. Only once he pauses and really looks does he note that the skin around Munakata’s eyes is a little bit red. No wonder Anna had suggested bringing him water… Had he been crying earlier?

And then Munakata’s eyes blink open, and Kusanagi’s the one that freezes.

They’re both silent, but Munakata looks more groggy than anything. At least for the first few seconds - then he seems to realize where he is and what’s going on, because he tenses up, too. Kusanagi’s quick to raise his hands in surrender. Not like he thinks Munakata’s going to attack or anything, but more as a gesture to calm him down. “Woah, hey, relax, m’not here to kick you out.” 

Munakata swallows before sitting up a little - as expected, the shirt looks a little strange on him, yet not as weird as Kusanagi had pictured, somehow - and hanging his head. “… Sorry.”

For breaking in, presumably. Kusanagi shrugs. “S’fine. Not exactly hard to see why you wouldn’t wanna come in the front door.”

Munakata smiles a little, but it looks completely insincere and drops quickly regardless. “… Indeed. Still, this is _your_ property, so I shouldn’t just—”

Kusanagi waves him off. “Said it’s fine, didn’t I? Quit worrying about it. Anna knew you were here anyway, she woulda told me if she thought I’d care. Well, she did tell me, I guess, but she only asked me to bring you a glass of water.” And be nice, but he’d leave that part out. In the end, it isn’t because of Anna’s orders that he’s not kicking Munakata out anyway. He never thought he’d be one to pity the Blue King, yet here they are.

Munakata falls quiet, but it isn’t exactly hard to tell that he’s uncomfortable. Kusanagi sighs. “You should get some more sleep.”

“… Fushimi-kun says so, too.”

“Well, then, you should listen if even someone as surly as Saruhiko is expressing concern for you.”

Munakata’s smile is a touch more genuinely amused, this time. “It’s less strange coming from him than it is from you.”

Kusanagi chuckles despite himself. “Guess that’s true.” Then he shakes his head again, letting his amusement fade. “But really, go back to sleep. Everyone else’s gone to see a movie and I closed the bar today, so it’ll be quiet here for the next little while.”

It’s Munakata’s turn to sigh, this time. “… I shouldn’t. Fushimi-kun and Awashima-kun are probably beginning to consider going to look for me.”

Kusanagi tilts his head. “How long’ve you been here?” He knows he’d felt kinda weird since this morning, but has Munakata really been here all day…?

Munakata tilts his head and looks over at the clock, then leans forward and squints at it. Kusanagi blinks. Is Munakata’s vision really _that_ bad…? “Mm… About five hours, I suppose.”

Okay, so he really has been here since this morning. “Well, you told them _something,_ right?”

Munakata nods, sitting back on the bed properly again. “Yes. I told them I had some business to take care of and that I might be busy until mid-afternoon, but that they could call if anything came up in the meantime.”

Kusanagi shrugs. “Then I’d say you can stay a little longer. If you told ‘em mid-afternoon, then you’ve still got an hour or two. It’s only one pm, that’s still early afternoon, I think. You should get the rest while you have the chance.” Goodness knows the Blues have been running around like crazy for a long time now. 

Munakata hums, seemingly considering it, then hesitates again. It’s a bit strange - now that he’s out of uniform and not wearing his glasses, Kusanagi’s having a much easier time reading him. Then again, he’s probably not terribly guarded at the moment; that is, he’d fight if attacked, of course, but that his focus right now isn’t on keeping his emotions and thoughts to himself. Like this… It’s a little disconcerting, but whether it’s the change in attire or demeanor, Kusanagi can’t help but think Munakata seems _younger_ right now. Then again, he is only twenty-four. In the grand scheme of things, that’s still pretty young. Mikoto would have just turned twenty-five a month ago, but Munakata’s birthday… He thinks he remembers Mikoto saying it’s October 1st, so there’s still a bit of time. Sure, Anna’s way younger than even the both of them, but still, that doesn’t mean Munakata’s not still pretty young, too. Like this, he looks it.

Well, regardless of how Munakata seems younger now, Kusanagi knows why he’s hesitating, so he shrugs gently, “You know they’ll call if they need you. Make the most of this time, would ya? I’ll leave you alone, so just get back to sleep.” 

Munakata nods slowly, then reaches over for the glass of water, sitting up a little further, but clearly only to drink. “… Okay. Thank you, Kusanagi-san.”

Kusanagi makes a face at that, flapping a hand, “Don’t call me that, makes me feel like a geezer. Just ‘Kusanagi’ is fine.” He doubts Munakata will obey, though.

Munakata’s expression certainly belies how reluctant he is to do that, but he doesn’t argue. “… If you say so. Thank you all the same.” 

Kusanagi shrugs. “Don’t worry about it.”

It seems like Munakata still has something to say, but he drinks the water down without comment before laying back down. Kusanagi takes the glass once he’s done, then pauses. “… You look like there’s something you want to say.”

Munakata looks over at him, clearly surprised. “… Do I? Ah, well, in any case, please don’t worry about it.”

Kusanagi raises a brow, though he’s unsure if Munakata can even tell. Apparently his vision is awful, so who knows? “Aw, c’mon, that’s the same as admitting there is.”

Munakata chuckles quietly, catching Kusanagi off-guard. “I suppose so. But really, it’s nothing. I’m sorry for troubling you with all of this.”

Kusanagi rolls his eyes. “Letting you sleep here hasn’t exactly been taxing. Just hush up and sleep.”

Munakata’s smiling now, but he pulls the blanket up over him again and goes back to snuggling Mikoto’s pillow. Kusanagi watches him for a moment, then… Sets the glass down on the bedside table again and sits on the edge of the bed. Munakata looks at him, curious, smile fading, but Kusanagi doesn’t explain, just opens the top drawer of the nightstand and pulls out a carton of cigarettes. He isn’t quite sure what the relationship between Munakata and Mikoto was, but… If Munakata’s here like this, buried in Mikoto’s clothes and bed, then he, at least, is obviously chasing his scent. Kusanagi can feel Munakata’s eyes on him, but neither of them says anything.

Kusanagi flicks his aura to his fingers to light the cigarette, and he feels Munakata twitch a little behind him. The silence remains, though, and so Kusanagi tilts his head back and smokes lazily. Mikoto’s brand isn’t the same as his own, so the taste is a little different from what he’s used to, but it’s not so bad. He exhales a stream of smoke toward the ceiling, allowing the scent to drift through the room.

Munakata speaks up quietly. “… I always complained about the stench of his cigarettes.” The rest goes unspoken, but Kusanagi understands regardless: it’s funny how now, that same cloying scent is something Munakata misses.

They lapse back into silence with that, and once the cigarette is about half smoked, Munakata reaches a hand up. Kusanagi exhales again, then raises his own to hand the cigarette over carefully. Munakata says nothing, just takes a drag and coughs, clearly not enjoying the taste of it at all. He doesn’t complain, though, just takes a few short drags before handing it back. Kusanagi takes just one last drag before he leans over and grinds the flame out in the ash tray on the bedside table, then grabs the cup again and stands. 

"Thank you," Munakata says, abrupt but quiet behind him, "and I'm sorry. I know you were..."

Kusanagi doesn't turn back to face him, because he knows his expression would betray his sadness. "... I know you had no choice." He won't say 'I forgive you' or anything, because it had _hurt_ to lose his two best friends not even two weeks apart, but he also doesn't hold a grudge. In the end, it had been Mikoto's own choice to go that way, so... There was nothing to be done about it, and he wouldn't begrudge Munakata something he'd clearly hated, too. "You don't need to apologize to me." Honestly, the way things are... He's certain that Munakata's beating himself up over this far more than Kusanagi would ever want to punish him for it. Revenge isn't something he wants, and seeing Munakata like this is, frankly, pitiful. "I don't blame you for what happened. Now sleep, so you can get back to what you need to be doing to protect the things you need to."

Munakata’s quiet after that, but Kusanagi knows he’s just reflecting on that. Honestly… While he still thinks Mikoto was the best king for him to have ever been able to follow, he also thinks that Munakata’s doing an excellent job in his own way, and though Kusanagi will never join his clan, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t respect him. He knows that this sort of interaction may never happen again, even if Munakata comes back again, but he doesn’t regret the way things turned out between them just now. And while he’s not completely sure of the relationship that had existed between Munakata and Mikoto - and it’s not his place to learn, nor does he want to - he _does_ know for a fact that Mikoto wouldn’t want him to suffer. So if this is what Munakata needs to grieve and move on, then Kusanagi will do his best to make it as easy as possible for him. They’re not friends by any stretch, but… Well, maybe they could pretend to at least be something like acquaintances, now and then.

He shuts the door quietly and leaves Munakata to his memories and hopefully a good rest. God knows he’ll need it with the way things have been going lately.

In the silence before he steps away, he can faintly hear Munakata start to cry. Neither of them say anything. Kusanagi goes downstairs.

Somehow, those sobs had seemed almost relieved. That's the best Kusanagi can do.


End file.
